Something strange would often happen to me when I went on a trip, literally vacating my regular existence and everyday routine. I would find myself in another place, imagining what my life might be like if that were my home. A sort of sad longing would well up in me, visualizing myself as a “true artist”, wearing flowy clothes, living in an artsy home in sight of the ocean. This fantasy was always followed by other thoughts such as, “Why do I feel that I have to go somewhere else to live the life of my dreams as the truest version of myself?”
For over 25 years I have devoted myself to helping others as an intuitive energy healer and massage therapist. It has given me great joy, and a sense of purpose. The incredible experiences I have had have been too numerous to mention. I feel sometimes that since I have been given a great gift it is my responsibility to use it….but still that longing creeps in whenever I step away for a few days.
My body seems to understand who I authentically am; the artist, creator, inventor, communicator, writer, and teacher that I have been preparing to be since early childhood. It has risen up in painful protest, telling me that it is time to let go of what my mind thinks I should be doing, that makes a “real” difference, and start displaying the things that I actually came here to express.
In June my family went on a camping trip to one of our favorite places, Montana de Oro. On the way to the magical cove and the campground near it we passed this house that I always envision us living in. There is even an easel by the window overlooking the ocean. Something really cool happened this time, though. I didn’t have that nagging, uneasy feeling that my life was off track. I had a great time but was excited to get back home to this Divine project we are working on, home to the truest joy inside myself, and to the most authentic expression of it in the world.
Be your authentically joyous self,